Devotees, Wannabes, Pretenders, and Fetishists
Ever since I got online, I have known about the 'Devotee Community' -
indeed, I've been a part of it for years. But just what is the 'Devotee Community'? It's become
a common name over the past few years, and I've seen it used to describe many things - some of them correct, some of them incorrect.
This page is written as my own exploration into what is what, and who is who - it's not meant to label
anyone, it's not meant as the definitive work on the topic - it's just my feelings on the subject, and
therefore I felt it might be of interest to a number of my readers.
First, I will say that this page came about after
a few long afternoon chats with online friends, sitting in my wheelchair, wondering just where I fit in
with the whole 'Devotee' crowd. I was attracted to women in wheelchairs, so I was indeed a devotee.
I dream of needing a wheelchair full-time, so that could make me a Wannabe. I live a good portion of
my life in my sporty little wheelchair, so this would indicate I was a pretender. However...
I enjoy women in wheelchairs, find them sexually arousing - but they do
not have to be truly diabled - I am just as turned on by the beautiful women in the 'Paragirl'
photo sets and videos as I am Sharry or Nicole or any of the other 'real' paras out there.
A pretender is just as arousing to me as a true L2 complete paraplegic. Most Devotees I've
talked to have told me that a 'true' devotee ONLY likes the real deal - a 'fake' para just doesn't
do it for them. In fact, I have talked to a devotee friend of mine recently - about the recent
'ParaGirl' photo sets - and he said that it is actually more arousing and exciting for him to
see a plain-looking real para reaching for a box of cheerios from a grocery shelf, than to see
a room full of beautiful naked 'fake' paras having an orgy, if he knew they were fake. I asked him
to explain, and he couldn't - he could see the most goregeous chair-using woman in the world,
and be totally intoxicated by her - if he found out she was a pretender, that she could walk or even STAND
unaided, that would be it, he would instantly lose interest. This may be an extreme example, or
it might not - I've gotten many emails from Devotees who say that the photo sets look very nice,
but they would not purchase them because the girls are not true paraplegics. So if this is
the case, if a 'true' Devotee is only a Devotee of real paras, then by definition I cannot
FULLY consider myself a devotee.
But what about 'Wannabe' - That small segment of the
community who desires to BE the object of their fascination - to actually suffer some
trauma that would cause them to be an amputee, or a paraplegic, or even more extreme. There are
certainly days when I wish my legs would stop working, that I would wake up a paraplegic and
never walk again - I have those desires often, truth be told. But I don't think I have ever
considered injuring myself, at least not seriously. A serious Wannabe will have plans, sometimes
elaborate schemes to realize their dream. I've talked to a woman who became a DAK amputee through
the use of dry ice, I've seen a video of a man having his own leg shot off (oh, and thanks to
whoever on Devotella mislabled that - it gave me nightmares for a week!) The 'True' Wannabe's desires are
so strong that they often override the fear of serious bodily injury and even death. I cannot
claim to have that sort of commitment to my craft, as it were - the most ambitious plan I've ever had for
realizing my goals was to fake two broken legs and spend a few months in casts so my legs atrophied.
No pain, not dropping an engine block on my spine, or injection of drugs into my back in
some sort of home-made spinal block. I think the main problem is my allergies - I'm highly allergic to
pain, you see. There is also the matter of around here, serious self-inflicted wounds tend to
land you in a mental intitution under that 'A danger to herself and others' clause. So am
I a true Wannabe? Probably not.
Now, we all KNOW I'm a pretender, right? Well, I think that
I am, anyway, and I pride myself on accurracy and style - I don't think anyone
has ever seen me in my chair in public and said 'I'll bet she's not really disabled'. Of course
it's not really that difficult, considering we live in a society where most people
won't even look at a woman in a wheelchair, they just avert their eyes and keep walking, never
to be reminded of the frailty of the human condition... either that or they're just really rude and
closed-minded. So yes, I AM a pretender - I live in my home as a para, and sometimes play different
roles and disabilities, depending on my mood. I go out in public in my chair, I've gone on vacation in my chair.
But to me, pretending is more than just sitting in a wheelchair and wheeling around - there's
much more to it then that. It's sexual for me, it's sensual, it's emotional. When I sit in my
wheelchair, grab those push rings and set myself in motion, it's like a high for me, it's like
an orgasm that just doesn't stop. When I'm in my wheelchair, I feel 'right', I feel 'complete' -
it's not just 'isn't it interesting to sit in a wheelchair', it's like a physical NEED - possibly
even an emotional addiction, truth be told. I spent a long weekend with my family
(who have no IDEA about my interests) and was without my chair for four days straight. I believe
I actually went into a sort of withdrawal. I would find myself on a kitchen chair, manipulating my
legs with my hands, picturing myself in my wheelchair. So yes, I am a pretender - but I think I'm more than
that, too...
So what am I, then? I am a wheelchair fetishist. It's
simple, it's concise, and I believe it's highly accurrate. I love wheelchairs, they are
sexual and erotic for me - like a man who likes stockings or breasts to a hightened degree,
I am sexually excited by wheelchairs, by me being in a wheelchair, by the thoughs of me NEEDING a wheelchair
to get around, and by other women in wheelchairs - no matter if they need the chair or not.
It's not something I'm ashamed of, it's not something I think is 'wrong' with me - it's an
interest, a sexual kink, and a mild one at that, compared to some of the interests out there.
There are many people I've spoken to who are like me - they have an interest in wheelchairs,
but not in the tradtitional 'Devotee' sense (If there is such a thing). There are also many
who are devotees, and wannabes, and pretenders - I think at least some of them could be
termed 'Wheelchair Fetishists', or at least fall under the shade of the same umbrella. And to
all of them I say welcome, enjoy, and above all - don't be ashamed.
Don't be ashamed? Why would I say that?
Because that is my final point. For so long, I had
these thoughts, these desires. My first orgasm was in a wheelchair in my grandparents basement,
and I was so ashamed of myself afterwards I cried. It must be like realizing you're gay,
but not having a cute rainbow flag or fun summer marches (Not saying being Gay is fun or
easy here, folks, I'm on the Pride bus too, I promise!). I talk to so many people
who are 'into' wheelchairs in one way or another, and are so confused and ashamed because of it,
and it's not because it's WRONG - why would it be wrong? - it's because our society TELLS
us that we should not think that a woman or a man in a wheelchair, or missing a limb,
or who is otherwise disabled, is a sexual being. Being sexually aroused by a person in
a wheelchair is really no different than getting aroused by a woman with big breasts or a man
with nice abs (OK, to many people this is technically WRONG, as you aren't supposed to judge a person on
physical apperance - come on, who are you kidding. This is the country where Pamela Anderson
has an ACTING CAREER - looks matter most, face it and and move on) - except society
tells us that that person in the wheelchair isn't supposed
to be an object of desire. Look on TV, movies - why do we have devotee groups that specialize in
nothing but media-alerts? Because seeing a disabled person in the media is SO RARE! And even
if there IS a person with a disability on TV or in a movie, chances are they are not
really disabled - hell, they cast Jodie Foster and Gary Sinise as AMPUTEES (Secret Lives of Altar Boys and Forrest Gump, respectively).
When they have to go and spend a ton of extra money to 'erase' the legs off an able-bodied actor rather than put a 'real'
amputee on screen, it just blows my mind!!
So that's it - be you Devotee, Wannabe, Pretender, Fetishist,
or just some guy named Bill who wound up here because the Yahoo search engine was developed
by dyslexic monkeys, I welcome you, and I hope you enjoy the site.
